NOTE: I’m not saying *all* Adam Lambert fans are insane, so you’ll notice heavy use of “*some*” throughout this post. (the fact that I need to say this is stupid, but, welcome to the internets, I suppose, right?)
Ok, here’s a quick lesson for you crazies out there who insist on making anything music- or gay-related be about Adam Lambert:
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ADAM LAMBERT
Poor Jim Cantiello (@jambajim) unknowingly unleashed the Adam-crazy hoardes when he wrote the following tweet:
Tonite @taylorswift13′s “Mean” got turned into THE definitive gay empowerment anthem thanks to @kennymellman. #OurHitParade #NeedsToBeOnMTV
Apparently, *some* Adam fans took this as a challenge to dial their crazy up to the max. Because, you see, for them everything can be related back to Adam. EVERYTHING. They started inundating his @replies, insisting that Adam’s “Aftermath” was THE definitive gay anthem, and being quite pissed that he would consider Taylor Swift and her song something that the gay community should look to, rather than one of their own (Adam).
So I would like to offer the following points for these crazies to consider:
1) Not everything “gay” has to be about Adam.
Think of it like basic geometry: Adam is the square, and Gay is the rectangle. Adam is always Gay, but Gay is not always Adam:
Or, maybe a Venn diagram would help?
(yes, I didn’t put all of Adam in the gay circle because, well, he’s not purely defined by his sexuality, and rightly so (this slightly contradicts my square/rectangle metaphor, I realize. whatever.))
B) Jim Cantiello is not The Voice For All Gays
Do you really consider a tweet from Jim Cantiello to be some official proclamation that imbues Taylor Swift’s song with some magical properties, and now suddenly gay clubs across the country are going to be forced to stop playing “It’s Raining Men” and start playing “Mean” instead? As if Jim’s tweets are some form of unilateral declarations that can’t be undone. I mean, COME ON. It’s Twitter for fuck’s sake. Tweets carry the same weight and importance as proclamations from Queen Elizabeth II.
Jim is a great guy and I think he’s funny as hell, but he loves Deerhunter. His tweets are not declarations from on high. If they were, Allison Iraheta would be a super star (*sigh* moment of silence, please… ).
Now, apparently, some of the crazies were upset that Jim included the hash-tag #NeedsToBeOnMTV and that it was some kind of official endorsement for/by MTV that Taylor Swift should be the new Gay Heroine (or some shit. who knows).
Tweets are inherently a poor medium for communicating complex thoughts, since 140 characters doesn’t give you much room to elucidate. But rather than take a second to really ~read the tweet (and understand that he was most likely saying Our Hit Parade should be on MTV, and not (as you seemed to think) declaring TSwift Queen of the Gays), you jumped on him.
iii) Our Hit Parade only uses songs in Top 10 charts
This point is less important, because the facts of the situation don’t actually matter, it’s your insane reaction to Jim based on your warped sense of Adam’s constant relevance and Twitter’s position in your mind as the source of all things True.
But, it should be noted that Aftermath can’t in fact be used on Our Hit Parade currently, seeing as how the show only uses hit songs that are on a Top 10 chart somewhere.
Δ) Aftermath is a horrible song
First, let me say I own Adam’s album (yes, I actually physically own the CD). I like at least half of it. Music Again, Fever, If I Had You, Pick U Up, Sleepwalker, Broken Open, Sure Fire Winners, hell even Master Plan, are all good songs. I know the words and can sing along to every track (eh, except Soaked and Loaded Smile). So don’t assume I’m some hater who shits on Adam without knowing his music/him/whatever.
But please, Please, PLEASE do not insist that Aftermath is some perfect song that all gays should feel empowered by. For some reason you hated that Jim unilaterally declared TSwift’s song as THE ANTHEM, and yet you turned around and UNILATERALLY declared Aftermath as the “correct” anthem.
Can you see the hypocrisy? Probably not.
Anywho, arguing on the internet won’t get you anywhere. And mainly I just wanted a reason to create that venn diagram.